After having a few days of being on holiday; where I didn’t think about anything other than what was directly in front of me and the people I was with, coming back to reality has been slower than I expected.
My first sticking point has been uni.
I was still finishing off my dissertation proposal as my friends arrived to pick me up, so completed it in a rush. After that, the holiday was a uni-free zone.
And then I got back and realised I had 5 ongoing uni things to do, so proceeded to shove my head in the sand and ignore them.
Multiple ongoing deadlines are my nemesis; whenever I start trying to do work for one project I just feel guilty for not currently working on the others, so get very little done.Considering one of the 5 is a big group project that’s next week, I now feel very bad about for not contacting people once I got back.
The other thing I’ve been thinking about thanks to the holiday is anxiety. That’s partly from the conversations we had as a group. Of the 6 of us, 4 have anxiety issues or social issues, and spending a few days constantly around each other meant finding out more about how that works for all of us and how we’re similar and different. For me, it meant finding out that I had more in common with the others in terms of how I thought than I expected. (A very involving game of Never Have I Ever also led to some unexpected questions for all of us; for me, it also meant finding out that people had spotted or guessed things about me that I hadn’t expected to be guessed or thought of.)
Another reason I’m thinking about anxiety is simply that after having a few days of not worrying about anything at all, I’ve realised just how much I usually worry, and how much time in the months before was lost to feeling anxious about things. It’s a lot easier to see how strange something is when you can take a step away from it.